About Hospice
How to...
Exclusive discounts on CE programs, HFA publications and access to members-only content.
Join Us Today
Access Care
Choose
Pay for Care
Volunteer
What is Hospice?
Starting the Conversation
Dispelling Hospice Myths
Caregiving
Signs of Approaching Death
Take the Hospice Quiz
Advance Directives
Ask an Expert
Donate
Products & Programs
Members Only
Grief Resources
Journeys Newsletter
A monthly newsletter with articles written by experts that touch on the varied aspects of grief.
Learn more
What is Grief?
Support Groups
Children & Grief
Commonly Asked Questions
Grief & the Workplace
Caregiving & Grief
Helpful Grief Articles
Ask an Expert
Donate
Products & Programs
Members Only
Professional Education
2023-24 Professional Education Programs
View this year's line-up of nine expert-led professional education programs. 13.5 CE hours included.
Learn More
Annual Membership
Upcoming Webinar Courses
CE Programs On Demand
Obtain Your CE Certificate
Journeys Newsletter
HFA Program Presenters
Books and DVDs
Community Education
Ask an Expert
Donate
Products & Programs
Members Only
About Us
Discover all that HFA Membership offers
Exclusive discounts on CE programs, HFA publications and access to members-only content.
Join Us Today
What We Do
Research & Grant Projects
The HFA Team
Annual Membership
Press Releases
Reports & Financials
Contact Us
Ask an Expert
Donate
Products & Programs
Members Only
Donate
Journeys Newsletter Subscription
Learn More
Journeys Newsletter Subscription
Learn More
Journeys Newsletter Subscription
Learn More
0
items
Contact HFA
Members Only
Login
Register
a
a
a
Search for:
Donate
Login
Register
0
items
About Hospice
How to...
Exclusive discounts on CE programs, HFA publications and access to members-only content.
Join Us Today
Access Care
Choose
Pay for Care
Volunteer
What is Hospice?
Starting the Conversation
Dispelling Hospice Myths
Caregiving
Signs of Approaching Death
Take the Hospice Quiz
Advance Directives
Ask an Expert
Donate
Products & Programs
Members Only
Grief Resources
Journeys Newsletter
A monthly newsletter with articles written by experts that touch on the varied aspects of grief.
Learn more
What is Grief?
Support Groups
Children & Grief
Commonly Asked Questions
Grief & the Workplace
Caregiving & Grief
Helpful Grief Articles
Ask an Expert
Donate
Products & Programs
Members Only
Professional Education
2023-24 Professional Education Programs
View this year's line-up of nine expert-led professional education programs. 13.5 CE hours included.
Learn More
Annual Membership
Upcoming Webinar Courses
CE Programs On Demand
Obtain Your CE Certificate
Journeys Newsletter
HFA Program Presenters
Books and DVDs
Community Education
Ask an Expert
Donate
Products & Programs
Members Only
About Us
Discover all that HFA Membership offers
Exclusive discounts on CE programs, HFA publications and access to members-only content.
Join Us Today
What We Do
Research & Grant Projects
The HFA Team
Annual Membership
Reports & Financials
Contact Us
Ask an Expert
Donate
Products & Programs
Members Only
Donate
Contact HFA
Hospice Directory
Resource Library
Shop HFA
Discover all that HFA Membership Offers
Search for:
The Shock of Loss
The Shock of Loss
Death is a harsh reality to grasp. The loss of a loved one can feel unreal like a disturbing dream you can’t wake up from. You may know that a loved one is very ill or in the process of dying, yet the finality of death always feels sudden, shocking, and unbelievable.
At the first shock of loss, experiences and conversations can be blurred or hazy. You may not yet feel any of the deep feelings of grief. People in shock often appear to be behaving normally without a lot of emotion because the news hasn’t fully sunk in yet.
Numbness is a natural protection when facing any kind of trauma. Detached from the reality of the loss, you may be able to function pretty well at first. This can be confusing to the people around you, when they expect full-blown grief and suffering that you don’t yet feel.
In the days or weeks to come, the intense feelings usually break through this numbness—feelings like sadness, anger, longing, loneliness, guilt, resentment, and regret. When fully immersed in the grieving process, you then may feel flooded with tears and emotions.
Sleep might be difficult immediately following a loss. Staying awake late at night obsessing or falling asleep only to wake suddenly in the middle of the night are both normal reactions. It may be very uncomfortable but you are not crazy.
During the day, tasks or conversations may temporarily cause you to forget your loss until something reminds you. Just being asked, “How are you?” can be a reminder that something terrible has occurred. Even months later, the realization that someone is gone forever can come as an unwanted surprise.
Recognize that shock is a natural part of grief that may occur many times before the actuality of the loss sinks in. Even though it feels off-balance, it is part of the process of dealing with painful experiences. In time, the shock will lessen. Death is hard to accept and it does take time.
Most of all, remember that even though the grieving process is uncomfortable and that loss itself is shocking, it is possible to acknowledge and accept loss. You will remember your lost loved ones forever, but you do not need to grieve their absence forever.
Developed from
Journeys with Grief: A Collection of Articles about Love, Life and Loss,
edited by Kenneth J. Doka, Ph.D., MDiv., copyright Hospice Foundation of America, 2012.
Return to all articles